Do I walk through the open door?
Finding oneself and charting a new course is at the heart of Vayeitzei
This week’s Parshah Vayetze begins with Jacob’s dream.
Running for his life from a vengeful Esau, Jacob flees toward a Haran. Exhausted, he stops to sleep. Here he has his famous dream of angels ascending and descending a ladder that extends to Heaven. Jacob awakens a new person with the epiphany, “God was in this place and I did not know it.”
How many of us get such an experience and then go on to change our lives? My guess is that we get more of those experiences than we realize, but until we are prepared to embrace them, they are nothing but interesting passing moments. In Mishkan Tefillah, the Reform Siddur, there is an insightful and provocative piece of prose about encountering an open door, this special moment that can change our lives.* Do we have the courage to go through the door or stay back? The challenge is that we can live fully without ever exploring what could be. And even if we walk through the door, there is no guarantee that things will marvelously unfold in spectacular fashion. For, as the piece concludes, it is only a door. Are we willing to leave all that we know behind for the chance at something new and filled with extraordinary possibilities?
Looking back, I realize that I have encountered many doors along the way- some of which I have walked through and some of which I have walked past. When I walked through my most recent open door at the age of 50, I commenced on the journey to be a rabbi. But this particular door I was prepared to enter, leaving everything familiar behind. It was truly a leap of faith. The journey has been immensely rewarding, but a struggle to learn and apply what that title truly meant. It took me every bit of my 50 years to be fully prepared to walk through that door, and start this new career, even though I had contemplated becoming a rabbi years before when I was in college.
When we pass by an opportunity, we might wonder about what might have been, or move forward, satisfied we are on the right path. The Roman philosopher Seneca said that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Doors or opportunities may be regularly presenting themselves. But only when we are ready to take that important next step will we find a new path to travel. Like Jacob, we too may find God in the most unlikely places. Will you walk through that open door?
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*The Open Door
Either you will go through this door, or you will not go through.
If you go through, there is always the risk of remembering your name.
Things look at you doubly and you must look back and let them happen.
If you do not go through, it is possible to live worthily, to maintain your attitudes, to hold your position, to die bravely
But much will blind you, much will evade you,
at what cost, who knows?
The door itself makes no promises.
It is only a door.
Mishkan Tefillah, A Reform Siddur, Weekdays and Festivals, pg 151
