So, it turns out that maybe mine is not the only family described as dysfunctional. Family dynamics have always been difficult. Toldot shares unique stories of the tensions that can exist, based on things like sibling rivalries, deception, favoritism, and selfishness.
We can see ourselves and our own family of origin in Toldot, even if not quite as extreme as portrayed here or in other cultural storytelling such as Game of Thrones, Succession, and an almost countless list of movies and literature. Any story involving family draws on the deep well of our own experiences creating drama that imagination alone could never rival.
I am blessed to have a special brother. We have found each other again after too much time apart. He is a person I admire and respect as well as love, but it took a while for me to mature enough to put the sibling rivalry in its proper place and embrace him. Families are complicated.
The members of a family are individuals, each with distinct personalities and gifts. Each of us is different. But, we can still be united in the bond that is family. It is said that Blood is thicker than water (a saying traced back to 13th century Germany)[1]. I always knew that my brother would be there if I needed him, as I would for him, regardless of where we were.
Isaac, Rachel, Esau, and Jacob all had parts to play in the strange stories we recount in Toldot. The drama played out in ways that left indelible stains, scarring people like blood on cloth. Overcoming bad actions or even bad actors is a great challenge. This is a crucial message of this week’s Torah portion. Although we are unable to control things happen to us, we can control how we respond to them. Events and life experiences can shape our view of the world and our relationships. How we understand those lessons will determine our course.
This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the blessing in my life. Today is not the day to dwell on past disappointments (unless your football team loses perhaps). We can approach today with an open heart. Although my brother and I will be at different tables, he and his family are present in my heart. I hope that we all find ways to come together united in friendship, fellowship, and love.
Happy Thanksgiving!
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water
